on money and maybes
Your stories on the topic are welcome and can be shared through the comment section.
So I’d imagine that if I were ever involved in some freak accident and needed to cover my hospital fees, I’d be relieved to realize that my $250 monthly insurance payment would leave me with an affordable co-pay and months of bed rest.
But no freak accident has come from my two-year stint in New York, so every time I get notified of my Fidelis auto payment, I wince. “Who are you, and why are you taking all my money?” I ask the faceless entity draining my account.
I’ve paid off my second album, and I’m proud of that. I worked hard to fund this vision. I think of a track on my first album, where I wrote “That’s a lot of money for a maybe, but what else would I buy?”
When I made that first album, I saw money as a way to make my dreams come true. Now, money feels like a burden, a constant source of stress as I try to save for those same dreams. Rent, insurance, groceries—every dollar feels like it’s being siphoned away. I pay to check my bags to fly to LA, only to board a flight with open overheads. I call the airline, feeling cheated, and am told that my cheap ticket means all bags must be paid for. Life doesn’t come with bargains.
In Money For a Maybe, I asked, “What else would I buy?” because, at the time, there was nothing else I’d rather invest my time or money in. There was no alternative.
But lately, I’ve been wondering—what if I could buy a different life? One that doesn’t come with this calling? A life where I could work for the big man, see the clear line between my professional and personal life, and be content with it. A life where my identity wasn’t tied to this pen. A life where I wouldn’t wince at insurance payments.
Those of us who are blessed to be surrounded by artists of many types can only try to empathize and support you in any way we can.
There was a time when my husband and I would try to everything all the time...and somehow managed to do fairly well for a while.
I applaud those of you who are wise enough to know that it is not wise to try to do everything for long periods of time.
Being selective with how you spend and territorial with your time is necessary to make progress on your dreams.
Nonetheless, never doubt for a moment that successful artists and those of us with less ambitious artistic passions are doing what we wish all of time.
We all have to do things we do not always enjoy very much for one reason or another.
Let’s also applaud those who have artistic interests and are wise enough to know we can contribute more in the mainstream. Keeps the economy going and provides resources to spend on art!
Very few folks, even accomplished artists, have the luxury of spending little to no time on things they would rather not do. To be safe and comfortable, compromises are unavoidable.
Your time and your money are being well spent.
Us fans hope you look in the mirror and love what you see.
We do!